IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, there is too much plastic in our oceans, which negatively affects marine life. What are the reasons for this, and how can this situation be improved?

In today's era
marine
Punctuation problem
, marine
show examples
 life is in danger
threat
Check wording
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 high plastic pollution caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings. Not only
the oceans are
Correct word order
are the oceans
show examples
 polluted
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the death ratio of these exotic species has grown tremendously. There are various factors which are contributing to
this
Linking Words
scenerio
Correct your spelling
scenario
. In the upcoming
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
 the reasons will be discussed
along with
Linking Words
 the solutions. The first and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost reason for the plastic pollution in water is that it has become the habit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people to throw
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
empty bags
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 containers
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the sea. They think it is cool to throw the empty products into the oceans . A university of columbia has researched that the products thrown in the rivers
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the 60% cause of the death of the water life creatures.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are no proper places
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 up by the government to
throw the dump
Correct word order
dump the waste
show examples
. There are certain places which are designed to throw the bins
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the quantity of these bins is
compatively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 very low
as that
Correct word choice
compared to the amount
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
garbage. The
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
 issue is that the government should open more spaces to dispose of the plastic containers and strict policies should be made for those people who are not abiding
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 rules . The fines or any other form of
penalities
Check wording
penalties
show examples
 should be imposed on the person who is creating the pollution
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the oceans.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
an
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
individual
Add a comma
individual,
show examples
 it should be our
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to protect the environment in all ways. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible citizens
Add a comma
,
show examples
all the products should be thrown in appropriate containers to avoid any waste.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. You gave reasons and ways to improve, but some ideas are too short.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each part. One paragraph for reasons and one for ways is good, but each main point needs more support.
task response
Give real and clear examples. The university example is not clear and may not be true, so it does not help much.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences do not connect well, so the flow is not always easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. Keep one clear topic in each paragraph and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, because, so, and as a result.
task response
You answered both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs to separate ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: