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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

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At present, online shopping is increasing exponentially,
thus
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 ,
people
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 buy a variety of items
such
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 as household and reading materials
as well as
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 flight tickets. Some may argue internet buying can make
customers
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 unsatisfied
due to
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 its scam activities,
however
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, the easiness of online shopping overshadows
such
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 possible negativities.
Hence
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, it is examined in
this
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 essay. On one hand, One possible drawback of buying things from
websites
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 leads to exposure of ourselves to fraud since more and more thievery is possible today
due to
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 technological development. As there are ample available
websites
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,
people
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 can be easily misled into scam sites,
hence
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, provide their bank card details to them.
For instance
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, a national bank in Sri Lanka has reported over 10000 cases where credit card holders made complaints to lock their accounts
as a consequence
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 of exposing their confidential details to
such
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websites
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.
Customers
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 can read the reviews and feedback before selecting a reliable site to purchase items,
therefore
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,
such
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 crimes could be prevented. On the flip hand, the main advantage of purchasing through the Internet is far more convenient in terms of
customers
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. Earlier,
people
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 had to travel to physical stores spending their time and money to get things,
conversely
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, online shopping has resolved all the expenses and has saved money
as well as
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 time.
For example
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, if I immediately get my visa today and I need to book my tickets for tomorrow's aeroplane, the easiest way is to make an online purchase of the ticket
instead
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 of wasting my time to go a physical agency. Having said that,
people
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 have saved numerous expenditures because of shopping by
websites
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. In conclusion, shopping via cyberspace might direct
customers
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 into dangers
such
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 as money thievery,
nonetheless
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,
people
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 can avoid
such
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 disadvantages by relying on verified and reputed
websites
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 for their use. Yet, the merit of easy approachability to purchase a variety of materials outweighs any possible demerits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting points. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the argument and make the connection between ideas clear.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarise your main points. Your conclusion should effectively restate your thesis and main arguments without introducing new information.
task achievement
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. Examples should be specific and effectively illustrate the argument you are making. If you refer to personal experiences, ensure they are relevant and contribute to the argument.
task achievement
Respond to all parts of the task. Ensure that your essay fully addresses the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages before clearly stating your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to explain how and why you have reached your conclusion. Ensure your arguments are comprehensive and provide sufficient depth to satisfy the requirements of the task.
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