IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The
three
Use synonyms
differents
Replace the word
different
 map diagrams tell about the developing areas at West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 in 1950, 1980 and 2010.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
at
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 early
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, in 1950, the
school
Use synonyms
 area
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 only four main parts,
whereas
Linking Words
 after 30 years, the location
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 developed with
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 new buildings and
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same
at the end
Linking Words
 of year, in 2010. In 1950, four main parts
consist
Wrong verb form
consisted
show examples
 of
school
Use synonyms
, playground, farmland and houses
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
built beside the main road. For just 30 years, the West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 has developed with
three
Use synonyms
 new buldings which are
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 block, cark
park
Use synonyms
 and sport field
replacing
Punctuation problem
, replacing
show examples
 houses and farmland
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the year, in 2010, the building remains the same with just modifying the area size, where the car
park
Use synonyms
 has
resized
Verb problem
been resized
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost
three
Use synonyms
 times
than
Rephrase
more than
show examples
 before in order to increase
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
of the
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people who either
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 or apply to work in the West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
. The
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
 field is
also
Linking Words
 resized
three
Use synonyms
 times smaller than before.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, park, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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