IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the government should subsidise healthy food. Others believe it should tax unhealthy food. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that governments should subsidise healthy
food
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 in order to make it more affordable,
while
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 others believe that taxing unhealthy
food
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 would be a more effective approach.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints before explaining why I believe a combined strategy is the best solution. On the one hand, advocates of subsidising healthy
food
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 claim that reducing prices would encourage people to make better dietary choices. In many societies, nutritious foods
such
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 as fresh fruit and vegetables are significantly more expensive than processed alternatives, which discourages low-income families from buying them regularly. By making healthy
food
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 cheaper, governments can help people improve their diets without financial difficulty, leading to better
overall
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 public health and reduced pressure on healthcare systems.
On the other hand
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, supporters of taxing unhealthy
food
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 argue that higher prices can discourage consumers from purchasing harmful products. Foods that contain excessive amounts of sugar, salt, and saturated fat are closely linked to serious health problems, including obesity and heart disease. By imposing higher taxes on these items, governments can influence consumer behaviour
while
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also
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 generating revenue.
For example
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, sugar taxes in several countries have successfully reduced the consumption of sugary drinks. In my opinion, relying on only one of these measures is unlikely to be sufficient. Subsidising healthy
food
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 encourages positive choices,
whereas
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 taxing unhealthy
food
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 discourages negative behaviour. When used together, these policies can shape eating habits more effectively and produce lasting benefits for society. In conclusion,
although
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 there are valid arguments for both subsidising healthy
food
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 and taxing unhealthy products, I strongly believe that combining these two approaches is the most effective way to promote healthier eating and improve public health in the long term.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your own view clearly. To get a higher score, add one more very clear real example for each side.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow. To improve more, explain a little deeper why low-income families choose cheap food and how tax changes daily habits.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a very clear structure with one paragraph for each view, then your opinion, then a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your linking words are used well, but try not to use the same pattern too often. You can vary them a little more.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is supported, but one body paragraph could have a more detailed example to make it stronger.
task response
You answered all parts of the question fully and clearly.
task response
Your opinion is clear and stays the same from the middle to the end.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well organized and very easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and strong.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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