IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the number of
stealed
Replace the word
stolen
 private transportation from 1990 to 1999 in four countries,
such
Linking Words
 as Great
Britain
Use synonyms
, Sweden, France and
Canada
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Great
Britain
Use synonyms
 notably reaches the highest
theft
Use synonyms
 per 1000 vehicles compared to the other four regions,
whereas
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 recorded the lowest car
theft
Use synonyms
 throughout the years. The evidence from 1990 to 1999 shows that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Great
Britain
Use synonyms
 experienced
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 20 thefts per 1000 vehicles, leaving the other four countries
distances
Change preposition
with distances
show examples
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 10 thefts per 1000 vehicles.
However
Linking Words
, Great
Britain
Use synonyms
 faces inconsistent
theft
Use synonyms
 with rising and dropping thefts along the years, but remains constant
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the years with more than 15
Use synonyms
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rest of
countries
Correct article usage
the countries
show examples
, Sweden, France and
Canada
Use synonyms
 introduced
theft
Use synonyms
 just between 5-10
theft
Use synonyms
 in 1990, where France gradually
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to almost 15
theft
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, Sweden and
Canada
Use synonyms
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 constant with
value
Correct article usage
a value
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 just about 5
Use synonyms
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
 per 1000 transports from 1990 to 1999.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words britain, canada, theft with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theft rate
  • fluctuations
  • trend
  • vehicle theft
  • per thousand vehicles
  • decade
  • steady increase
  • steep decline
  • comparative analysis
  • noteworthy changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: