it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, abd others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that some
people
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are born with certain
talents
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as
sport
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or
music
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,
while
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others
Use synonyms
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
show examples
that any
child
Use synonyms
can be taught to become a good
sports
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persom
Correct your spelling
person
or
musician
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.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that any
child
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can be taught to become a good
sports
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person or
musician
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. It is
genetrally
Correct your spelling
generally
believed that some
people
Use synonyms
are born with certain
talents
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,
for
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instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
for
sport
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or
music
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,
abd
Correct your spelling
and
others
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are not because they do not have
talents
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and try hard to become
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
musicain
Correct your spelling
musician
.
This
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means that they are trying to blame
others
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with
talents
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.
For example
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, some
people
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are born without
talents
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such
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as
music
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and
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sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
. They are
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
hard to have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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to become popular and remembered.
Furthermore
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, they
jealous
Verb problem
are jealous
show examples
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people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
with
talents
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that not
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do
hard work
Correct word order
not work hard
show examples
to become famous.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
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claimed that any
child
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can be taught to become a good
sport
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persom or
musician
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because they believe in hard work
than
Correct word choice
rather than
show examples
the
talents
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.
As a result
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,
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
the child
show examples
will grow with knowledge and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to become a good
Use synonyms
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
person or
musician
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
have
taked
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
care from good teachers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
taught them about
music
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or
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sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
.
This
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makes
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child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
have
ability
Correct word choice
more ability
show examples
than
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
child
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with
talents
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.
Child
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that have
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
will have more knowledge to do more
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as how to play defence or attack. In conclusion, it is argued that some
people
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are born with certain
talents
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such
Linking Words
as
sport
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or
music
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,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
show examples
that any
child
Use synonyms
can be taught to become a good
sports
Use synonyms
persom
Correct your spelling
person
or
musician
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe that any
child
Use synonyms
can become a good
sports
Use synonyms
person or
musician
Use synonyms
because
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
have more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to learn and have more ability and
people
Use synonyms
with
talents
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
never learn.

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coherence cohesion
Write your ideas in a more clear way. Some parts are hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it well.
coherence cohesion
Add better links between ideas, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
task achievement
Answer both views fully and give your opinion in a strong way.
task achievement
Give more real and clear examples to support your points.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more. Do not repeat the topic words too much.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
You discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate talent
  • predispositions
  • biological factors
  • genetic makeup
  • physical attributes
  • nurtured talent
  • proficiency
  • early exposure
  • consistent practice
  • quality coaching
  • perseverance
  • resilience
  • natural predisposition
  • dedicated practice
  • optimal training conditions
  • synergy
  • achieving excellence
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