More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

A significant number of parents permit their
kidschildren
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children
to spend
time
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on computers or tablets because they believe that
children
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need to develop technology skills. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
aboutthe
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the
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advantages and disadvantages of
this
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idea. On the
one
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hand, the idea that
children
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need to play on computers and tablets for developing their technology
skill,
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apply
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skills has its own merits.
Firstly
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, technologies are developing very quickly today. Progress does not stand still, and new ideas and technologies
rosearise
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arise
every single day. Of course,
children
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should keep up and stay up to date with all developments. The next
advantage
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advantage
is education. Technology enhances
children
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’s learning by providing access to a wide range of educational resources.
On the other hand
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, spending a considerable amount of
time
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is very harmful. The first reason is a heavy strain on vision.
According to
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research by British scientists, monitors can worsen vision by 30% in just
one
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month. Even more terrifying is that
children
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have more sensitive eyes,
which
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which
are easily damaged. NextThe next
one
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is a sedentary lifestyle. If
kidschildren
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children
spend a lot of
time
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on their computer,
this
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leads to inactivity,
whatwhich
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which
is very harmful. The main drawback and the
last
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one
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I will highlight is addiction.
Children
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can easily become
addicted
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addicted
to digital devices because many applications are highly engaging. In the light of these facts, the
disadvantages
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disadvantages
outweigh the advantages.
Although
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spending
time
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on
computer
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computers
show examples
or tablets
havehas
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has
some
benefits
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benefits
,
for example
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, educational perspectives,
the
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the
drawbacks are more
essential
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essential
, for example, particularly addiction and health issues.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly all through the essay. Say why the good points are less than the bad points in each body part.
task response
Give one or two clear examples to support each main point. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they are short and not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some links are repeated or not used well.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one clear main idea, then add support after it.
task response
You answered both sides and gave a clear opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay stays on the topic and is easy to follow in general.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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