Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Many criminals reoffend after they have been punished and spent time in prison.
This
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raises an important question
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:
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why do some people return to crime after being released from prison, and how can we help prevent them from reoffending? In
this
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essay, I will discuss the causes of
this
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issue and suggest some possible solutions. There are numerous reasons that could explain why some individuals continue to commit crimes after they finish their sentences.
For example
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,
society
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's attitude has a significant impact, as people may not accept or interact with individuals who have recently been released from prison. Because of
this
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, many former convicts struggle to accept
this
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situation and return to crime. They may believe that
this
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is the only option available to them when
society
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rejects them.
In addition
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, many prisons do not focus on correcting criminal behaviour, as they fail to provide educational or rehabilitation
programs
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.
As a result
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, some
prisoners
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may develop psychological problems and do not receive the support or assistance they need from the community.
Moreover
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, financial problems are another major reason. Many former
prisoners
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fail to find jobs after completing their sentences and do not have a stable source of income, which leads them to engage in illegal activities to earn money.
However
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, there are several measures that can be taken to prevent criminals from reoffending.
For instance
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, rehabilitation
programs
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can be provided by non-profit
organizations
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organisations
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to help former
prisoners
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learn how to reintegrate into
society
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.
Additionally
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, educational
programs
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can equip them with proper qualifications or professional certificates to develop their skills, making it easier for them to find employment.
Furthermore
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, awareness
programs
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for the community are very important. These
programs
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should focus on encouraging people to support former
prisoners
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and help reduce crime rates. In conclusion,
while
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it is important to punish criminals, providing psychological and financial support can have a significant positive impact on both individuals and
society
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.

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task response
Give one more clear example for each main idea.
task response
Explain a little more how prison life can lead people back to crime.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more varied way, not only 'for example' and 'in addition'.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea lead more smoothly to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your body paragraphs are clear, but one paragraph could focus only on causes and one only on solutions.
task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly.
task response
Your ideas are easy to understand and mostly relevant.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most sentences connect well and the essay is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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