some people say that children should always aim to be the best at whatever they do . however others disagree . discuss both these views and give your opinion .

Some people think that
children
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should be the best
in
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at
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every activity they start.
However
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, other people oppose
this
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idea and think that one
child
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cannot be perfect at
everyhting
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everything
. I believe that striving for
excellency
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excellence
is a good idea,
while
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at the same time I support the opinion of the latter group of people that it is not possible to be excellent at every work you do. On the one hand,
children
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should be taught to do
thier
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their
best when beginning any task. If
children
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are not instructed to handle
with
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apply
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the activity with accuracy and responsibility, they could perform badly and irresponsibly.
For example
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, when a first-grader does his homework
at
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in
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neat writing, he must do his best to learn the letters
,
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apply
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and keep his notebooks clean.
This
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motivates him/her to go
an
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the
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extra mile in doing homework. By developing the
habbit
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habit
of a thourough work, a
child
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will develop his self-discipline
which
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, which
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will help him in doing more complicated tasks
while
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at secondary or higher school.
On the other hand
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, a
child
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cannot perform
perfectly-well
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perfectly well
show examples
in every task.
Children
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have different types of intellects and abilities, which affect his/her capability to perceive and consume the information.
For example
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, some
children
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who do well in music
,
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apply
show examples
cannot perform equally well in math
and
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, and
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those who are talented in
arts
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the arts
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,
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apply
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can be less sporty or muscular. If these
children
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are
instilled
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instilled,
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they should be
best
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the best
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in everything, they will be
dissappointed
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disappointed
with themselves, and
as a result
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lose self-belief.
Moreover
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,
this
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will lead to demotivation in
further
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improvement
which
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, which
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is the
worth
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worst
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scenario for
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child's
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a child's
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psychological
bringing-up
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upbringing
and development. In conclusion, it is seen that striving for being
best
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the best
show examples
serves
a
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as a
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motivation
while
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can become detrimental for
child
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's development.
While
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children
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have different
type
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types
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of abilities and capabilities, it is important to consider those when teaching and bringing them up.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in all parts, not only in the start and end.
task response
Use more clear and real examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like first, also, however, as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with some sentences that are hard to follow because of word choice or grammar.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • striving for excellence
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • competitive
  • reduces pressure
  • balanced development
  • fosters creativity
  • realistic goals
  • adverse mental health outcomes
  • achievable aspirations
  • balanced approach
  • participation
  • enjoyment
  • societal and cultural impact
  • understanding of success
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