Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

It is undeniable that stopping flying or decreasing the number of flights every year may contribute to enhancing environmental infrastructure. Others argue against
this
Linking Words
notion;
however
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
view
due to
Linking Words
the fact that flying assists international businesses and strengthens cultural bonds. On the one hand, the first benefit of preventing flying is that it may lead to a significant reduction in the amount of carbon dioxide emissions.
In other words
Linking Words
, a smaller number of flights means a better environment and purer air to breathe.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
can help decrease public noise in each region and might support reducing the impacts of climate change.
For example
Linking Words
, some Asian suburbs have great nature
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the crops grow fast because there is a low amount of carbon emissions, which helps agriculture to grow and plant effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the primary disadvantage of stopping flying or reducing the number of flights each year is that
this
Linking Words
can weaken global trade and cultural exchanges. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that it might lead to less export and import of goods, which means a considerable loss of business, especially for airline companies that will lose their market worldwide.
Moreover
Linking Words
, overseas students and directors may not be able to travel to their homes to see their families.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend might discourage international businessmen or students from relocating to another place. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are valid concerns regarding environmental pollution and emissions, I strongly believe these are outweighed by the fact that flying is crucial for many businesses and helps overseas businessmen and students travel and strengthen cultural exchanges.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly why the bad points for people and business are stronger than the green gains.
task response
Use more exact support for your ideas. The example about Asian suburbs is too general and not fully linked to flying.
task response
Develop each main idea a bit more. Explain how less flying hurts trade, study, and family life with one clear chain of reason.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part shape: intro, 2 body parts, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well in many places, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could connect more smoothly. A few lines jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body part has one main point and support that point fully before moving on.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the intro and keep it to the end.
task response
You discuss both sides, so the reader can follow your view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is clear.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear start and a clear end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
What to do next:
Look at other essays: