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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph above compares the amount of consumption between Beef and three
types
Use synonyms
 of other
meat
Use synonyms
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
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 country over 25 years period. In the past two decades,
Chicken
Use synonyms
meat
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant growth, becoming the most consumed
Use synonyms
types
Check wording
type
show examples
 of
meat
Use synonyms
 in Europe. And we can see that the popularity of Beef and Lamb has a notable
decline
Punctuation problem
decline,
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while
Linking Words
 fish
concistently
Verb problem
consistently remains
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 low with minimal fluctuations. The reason behind
significant
Add an article
the significant
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 growth of
Chicken
Use synonyms
meat
Use synonyms
 might be the economic crisis back in the
1980 era
Check wording
1980s
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,
where
Correct word choice
when
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 there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 an
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
 recession. People decided to do a transition from consuming Beef and Lamb to
Chicken
Use synonyms
meat
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a more affordable option
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is a rational move in
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
 theories. In conclusion,
Chicken
Use synonyms
meat
Use synonyms
 is the most consumed
Use synonyms
types
Check wording
type
show examples
 of
meat
Use synonyms
 in the past two decades compared to the three other
types
Use synonyms
 of
meat
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the reason behind it might be the
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
 recession
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
 people to choose a more affordable option and save money. In the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 there might be a change in trends since the
economy
Use synonyms
 has gotten better each
days
Check wording
day
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words types, meat, chicken, economy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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