IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph displays three types of crime (
burglary-car theft-robbery
Punctuation problem
burglary, car theft, and robbery
show examples
) that happened in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of New Port between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, burglary significantly decreased over the entire
period
Use synonyms
, and car theft showed fluctuations but
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
an overall
show examples
 decline. Robbery remained relatively steady throughout the time
period
Use synonyms
. Burglary was the highest crime in
this
Linking Words
 area in 2003 at just below 3500
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 increased to over 3600 in 2004 before decreasing dramatically to around 1000 in 2008. It
then
Linking Words
 hovered between 1000 and 1500 throughout the entire
period
Use synonyms
. Car theft began the recorded
period
Use synonyms
 at around 2600 and became steady for the next three years before decreasing to just over 2000 in 2006. It
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated between 2000 and 2500 over the time
period
Use synonyms
. Robbery was the lowest crime
overall
Linking Words
, which
recorded
Verb problem
was recorded
show examples
 at around 500 incidents in 2003 and slightly increased to just below 1000 in 2005 before hovering around 500 from 2006 to 2012.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instances of crime
  • significant decline
  • noticeable change
  • fluctuating trend
  • relatively stable
  • minor fluctuations
  • dramatic reduction
  • converged towards
  • crime rate
  • time frame
  • notable trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: