IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In today’s time, the way of
interaction
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 of
people
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with
Verb problem
interact with
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 others
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 transformed completely
due to
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latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 technology. The technology development has affected human relationships enormously as
people
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 try to avoid personal
interaction
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 and leave boring
conversation
Check wording
conversations
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. I believe that it’s
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 development as
people
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 become more shy to talk in public and become
overthinker
Fix the agreement mistake
overthinkers
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.
Due to
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 updated messaging services,
such
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 as text
message
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 or video call, a person who
involved
Verb problem
is involved
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 in communication can leave
boring
Correct article usage
a boring
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 conversation. If someone who
talk
Correct subject-verb agreement
talks
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 with other lose interest
to talk
Change preposition
in talking
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further
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, they can finish
conversation
Correct article usage
the conversation
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 by making excuses.
Moreover
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, more
people
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 are doing
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
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 in-person talks
due to
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 high-tech messaging applications. Individuals
use
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 either
message
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 with emojis or fancy short forms of long
sentence
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sentences
show examples
 to convey the
message
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 practice required less time and no other human
interaction
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as maintaining eye contact with someone.
For example
Linking Words
, a report published by BBC
news
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News
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 says that 87
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
 of mobile users
use
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 a
message
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 service
instead
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 of calling a person to deliver a
message
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. Enormous
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
 of messaging apps is
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 development as eventually
people
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 talk less and think more over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. By using typing mode for
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
 a
message
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, they continuously
use
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brain
Correct determiner usage
their brain
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 and a little
use
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 of
mouth
Correct determiner usage
their mouth
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 for speaking.
As a result
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, they start to
become overthinking
Wrong verb form
overthink
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.
Furthermore
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, since these
people
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 are habituated to
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use
Verb problem
apply
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typing, they feel shy to speak in public
gathering
Check wording
gatherings
show examples
.
Hence
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, they start to
straggle
Use the right word
struggle
show examples
 in effective communication.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey by
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Calgary says the percentage of new university students
eagarly
Correct your spelling
eager to
 communicate
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 events is reduced compared to
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade. In conclusion,
due to
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 communication advancement,
people
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’s
interecting
Correct your spelling
interacting
 habits
are
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 changed. As
people
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 can control their talks without
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 permission and less personal
interaction
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, they
do overthinking
Wrong verb form
overthink
show examples
 and face difficulty in public speaking.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You say how tech changes ties, and you give your view, but some ideas are not fully built.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. Start each part with one clear point, then add support.
task response
Give more clear and real support for each idea. Some examples feel too general or may not be strong.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence follows well from the one before. A few parts are hard to follow now.
task response
Explain why this is negative in a more direct way. The point about overthinking is not very clear.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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