IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, more and more people prefer to communicate online rather than face to face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Justify your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There seems to be a moot point on which fewer and fewer individuals feel comfortable and satisfied when they communicate in person
instead
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 of using
cyber
Use synonyms
 platforms. Presumably, several factors could be hidden behind it
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as saving
time
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 and prevention of contagious disease,
although
Linking Words
 both
communication
Use synonyms
 methods have their own advantages and drawbacks for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. Now, I will suggest reasons in order to lay my cards on the table in the end. First and foremost, face-to-face meetings demand a significant amount of
time
Use synonyms
 for personal preparation,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to the destination, and coping with traffic congestion.
Such
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 challenges make individuals feel reluctant to leave home and meet one another.
Moreover
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, most people have had a fear of
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
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 of diseases since the
Covid-19
Fix capitalization
COVID-19
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 pandemic.
Consequently
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, there is a tendency among the public to avoid close contact with others.
According to
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 a recent survey of 100 U.S. business executives, more than 80% of businessmen reported a preference for digital platforms, including Google Meet, Telegram, and webinars
without
Punctuation problem
, without
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 wasting their valuable
time
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 and putting their health at risks
instead
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 of traditional
communication
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. If the online meetings had required equal
time
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 to live
communication
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, they would have chosen
this
Linking Words
 old method
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 meeting. It is all I have suggested prior to putting forward my point-of-view. When it comes to enunciating my standpoint, some individuals advocate that online
communication
Use synonyms
 is at high risk
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
cyber
Use synonyms
 fraud. Albeit, the popularity of
cyber
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communication
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 is more likely to turn a new leaf in every sphere
surpassing
Punctuation problem
, surpassing
show examples
 in-person contacts.
In addition
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, nowadays, more and more
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cyber security
Correct your spelling
cybersecurity
 and safety regulations have been implemented.
Furthermore
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, a huge amount of travel expenses, from buses to
flights
Punctuation problem
flights,
show examples
 can be saved
,
Change preposition
by
show examples
 developing online platforms. To cite Mongolian hospitals as an example, our doctors and clinicians participate safely in events of global health associations and found a chance to exchange
experience
Check wording
experiences
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 with international professors through internet devices. As a landlocked country, Mongolia usually faces higher travel costs.
In other words
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, merits are available to everyone, regardless of where they live. Taking everything above into the
last
Linking Words
 but not least conclusion, it is likely that the rise of
cyber
Use synonyms
communication
Use synonyms
 is a positive development as it provides opportunities for everyone
Linking Words
such
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, such
show examples
 as studying, working, and sharing information globally
compared
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, compared
show examples
 to the benefits of face-to-face
communication
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, in that there are 2 staple reasons
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 saving valuable
time
Use synonyms
 from congestion and reducing unnecessary costs.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly why people choose online talk, and say more clearly why you think it is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are mostly clear, but some parts are hard to follow because of long and complex sentences. Use shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, but a few are not natural. Use simple links like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Your examples are relevant, especially the one about Mongolia, but explain them a little more to show how they support your main point.
task response
Stay close to the topic. A few lines are too general or repeated, so the essay loses focus.
task response
You answered the question and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs follow a clear order.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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