Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

now days many parentes are busy with work and life in general so as a way to have some free time they give the kids a phone it has many ups and downs first in the positvie side they can learn new things

secondly

Linking Words

its a good way to have some fun yet when we look at the disadvanges you will able to say many drawbacks

such

Linking Words

as bad memory

secondly

Linking Words

kids who use the phone for a long period of time tend to isolate them selfs so in a nutshell handing a phone for your kids in a well checked manner is positive

Nadralslymany

Apr 16, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both questions more clearly. Say why children use phones, and then say more clearly why you think it is positive or negative.

task response

Add one or two simple examples, like learning words, watching videos, or less time with family.

task response

Make your ideas fuller. Now you list points, but you do not explain them enough.

coherence and cohesion

Use a clear plan: start, body, body, end. One paragraph for reasons, one for good and bad sides, then your view.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like first, also, however, because, and in the end.

coherence and cohesion

Write full sentences. Some parts are too long and need stops.

task response

You answer the topic and give both good and bad sides.

task response

Your main idea is clear: parents give phones because they are busy.

coherence and cohesion

You use simple order words like first, secondly, and in a nutshell.

coherence and cohesion

You have an ending with your final view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

104 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

spend too much time on phones
daily habit
short videos
online games
talk with friends
busy parents
keep children quiet
screen time
social media
homework groups
study focus
face-to-face communication
less active
go outside
eye strain
sleep problems
learn useful things
find information
stay in touch
a negative development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Angsa
It is argued that gaining a university degree ensures job opportunities, while others say that work experience is more crucial to being employed. While the professional experience develops practical skills, I believe that the education provided by institutions allows us to implement deeper approaches to the subject.
6
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Recently, the number of people who are doing cosmetic surgery to improve their looks has increased a lot. There are some advantages and disadvantages of changing the appearance.
6.5
band
Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There are certain individuals assert that classroom learning provides a better education to the kids while interacting with their instructors.Whereas,others reckon that online learning gives fruitful consequences in the form of enhancing a knowledge about particular area of study through the numerous resources. According to me,an offline study has paramount benefits for pupils such as learning ethics along with studying, and improving their health than e-learning.
6.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some would argue that the government should have a large budget for constructing new railway systems for very fast trains between cities, while others say that the fund should be spent on developing public transportation. While constructing railway lines for speedy trains is essential to reduce car accidents, l believe that improving public transport is essential to reduce air pollution in cities.
7
band
Some people say young people should be encouraged to leave their family when they become adults while some argue they should live for a longer time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is an ongoing debate about whether young adults should continue living with their parents or move out when they reach a certain age. While both perspectives have their merits, I believe that young adults should leave the family home. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why, in my opinion, moving out is the better choice.

Some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Angsa

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say young people should be encouraged to leave their family when they become adults while some argue they should live for a longer time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.