IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals believe that
competition
Use synonyms
 in the workplace, in education, and in everyday life is essential,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
people
Use synonyms
 should develop cooperative traits that help improve
teamwork
Use synonyms
. I completely agree that cooperation can improve
teamwork
Use synonyms
 and reduce employees’ stress levels;
however
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,
competition
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 help
people
Use synonyms
 achieve their targets before deadlines. On the one hand, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
’s demands have increased significantly compared to the past, so many individuals work competitively in order to achieve their targets more quickly.
Moreover
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, if students want to achieve higher grades, working in a competitive environment can help them succeed.
For instance
Linking Words
, my university friend and I competed with each other
while
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 preparing for an important examination.
As a result
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, we achieved higher GPAs, and
consequently
Linking Words
, we were able to apply for master’s degrees in Australia.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 work cooperatively in the workplace,
teamwork
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 can be improved
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 employees’ stress levels can be reduced, which is a major concern in modern working environments.
Likewise
Linking Words
, if students want to improve their reputation in society, collaboration can help them achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal.
For example
Linking Words
, a Japanese scientist who conducted research found that working in a cooperative environment can be more beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 than working under
competition
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
 can help
people
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 achieve their goals more quickly and meet deadlines, I believe that cooperation is more beneficial because it improves
teamwork
Use synonyms
 and reduces stress levels.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should develop cooperative skills
while
Linking Words
 maintaining a healthy level of
competition
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear, but the side about cooperation needs a bit more full support.
task response
Add one more clear and real example for cooperation. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your main ideas more deeply. Some points are good, but they are a little general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. They are good, but a few ideas can connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea and support it step by step.
task response
You discuss both competition and cooperation, so you answer the task well.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the paragraphs are in a logical order.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear topic sentences in both body paragraphs.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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