More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
Having a baby leads to new challenges for my family. Usually, women take maternity leave to look after a newborn child, but recently the number of men sitting at home with kids has been growing rapidly. I agree that
this
measure can be a great alternative and in my essay, I am going to present some arguments.
Firstly
, in modern society women work hard and do very rewarding jobs, for example
, there are women firefighters, surgeons, and even pilots. As a result
, it may not seem reasonable to stop their career. If they continue working , they make a huge impact on society, as well as
they earn money. This
income can be spent on the development of children.
In addition
, the gender equality policy has been implemented in many countries. Consequently
, the decision on which parent will stay at home with a baby can be made individually in every family. It is believed that there are no more psychological issues concerning this
topic.
However
, many couples are willing to work together, so they find a babysitter. Apparently, it can be an effective solution to the problem, but it is claimed by doctors and other professionals that it is crucial for a baby to be with at least one parent. For instance
, there are many research papers that show that when kids feel the energy of their parents they are calm and can grow better.
Taking everything into consideration, I can mention that I agree with the statement. Despite any claims, children need to be close to their parents. Not always it can be a mother due to
some circumstances, so if it is a father who spends time with a kid, there should not be any concerns about it.Submitted by samedovateacher on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can help in making your essay easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points further and ensure that each paragraph includes a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. This will help in better organizing your essay and reinforcing your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively framed, setting up the topic and summarizing your stance well.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the issue evident throughout the text.
supported main points
Your discussion on gender equality and its impact on the decision-making process within families is a strong point. It adds depth to your essay by addressing contemporary social issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.