Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

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Many people
beileve
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believe
that the Educational
system
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would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be transformed entirely by the year 2050. In My Opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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do agree with
this
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prespective
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perspective
, because today we are
seaing
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seeing
a huge development in that industry. In
this
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essay, we will dive in deeply on the reasons behind it and how it could
potentialy
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potentially
benefit us and the next generations. In 2019, the world experienced a global
phonomena
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phenomenon
, which was the
Corona Virus,
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coronavirus. This
show examples
this
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changed how the world works,
that includes
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including
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the educational
system
Use synonyms
, where students and teachers had to move into online learning and examinations
,
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. This
show examples
this
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created
a
Correct article usage
apply
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creative ways of the grading
system
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, the teachers
depented
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depended
more on projects, where students have the ability to think outside of the box, work on academic
reaserchs
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research
, and
Presenting
Wrong verb form
present
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,
instead
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of the traditional
examanations
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examinations
that
takes
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take
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up to 70% of the final grade.
Linking Words
Further more
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Furthermore
,
this
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begining
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beginning
of an era
,
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apply
show examples
had changed
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
views on virtual learning, because it showed that the learning
system
Use synonyms
was still as effective as traditional in-person teaching.
In addition
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, we have
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
the
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
that we invented and prepared for the next level of online
learing
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learning
.
However
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, some individuals do not agree with
this
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approach,
that is
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beacause
Correct your spelling
because
they
beileve
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believe
that there is an existing
enequality
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inequality
that is
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currently happening globally, and
this
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would increasingly widen
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
that gap. But, we could resolve it if we
priorties
Correct your spelling
prioritise
the internet
accsess
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access
for the public,
for example
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, governments could pay for it
instead
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of the
tradditional
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traditional
public schools
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
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would help lower the
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
,
therefore
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help with the economic growth. In conclusion, there are
differet
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different
views, each as equaly imporatant, but we have to look into the advantages and
disadvanges
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disadvantages
,
then
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study ways to resolve
it
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them
show examples
, and of course, it depends on the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development in each country.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why class learning may be replaced, not only talk about online study in the virus time.
task response
Give more direct support for your points. Some ideas are good, but they need more full explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way. Sometimes they are there, but the ideas still feel a bit hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and build it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word form, because small language errors make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You use a real world example about the virus time, and this helps your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to connect ideas with words like for example, in addition, and however.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
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