IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph and table show the average monthly temperatures and annual hours of sunshine in three major cities.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The presented graphs indicate the comparison of
temperature
Use synonyms
 every month and the differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sunshine
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 annually in
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 patterns for
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 are similar , with the hottest weather being in July,
while
Linking Words
 the highest average
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 is in January. The
sunshine
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 are nearly the same and much higher than the figure for
London
Use synonyms
. Examining the monthly average
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in more detail, the changes in
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 witnessed a similarity ,
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 has cooler summers and hotter winters. The average
temperature
Use synonyms
 in both
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
respectively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
peaks at 25 and 30
degrees
Use synonyms
 in July,
whereas
Linking Words
 January was the month
Sydney
Use synonyms
 experienced the warmest weather with approximately 27
degrees
Use synonyms
. New
York
Use synonyms
's
temperatures
Use synonyms
 decline to around 5
degrees
Use synonyms
 in December, 5
degrees
Use synonyms
 lower than the figure for
London
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 illustrates the lowest
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in July, reaching just over 10
degrees
Use synonyms
. As far as
sunshine
Use synonyms
 duration is concerned, New
York
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 have relatively similar averages of 2,535 and 2,473
hours
Use synonyms
 , respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the annual average number of
sunshine
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 across
London
Use synonyms
 stands at a much lower rate , with 1,180
hours
Use synonyms
 per year.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, sunshine, hours, london, york, sydney, temperatures, degrees with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: