Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis . some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the present, people commute longer distances daily. Some think that it creates a negative development, which I personally agree with because of the negative effects on work or study performance and high transportation expenses.
While
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others consider it in the opposite way. Most individuals get jobs far away from home, which might require them to wake up early in the morning. Some take up to 2
hours
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to get to their office or school.
This
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can cause negative effects on their productivity
due to
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fatigue. Not only work that some people need to do, but
also
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doing housework and taking care of their family or kids. These factors cause exhaustion in them, which can lower their job quality.
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, a mother who needs to drop her kids off at school and spends 2
hours
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getting to work might have less efficient and productive performance than another worker in the same position who does not have kids and lives close to the office.
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, some people disagree with the negative development because they can be with their family
instead
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of renting an accommodation.
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group consider time spent with family to be important. So, they consider the distance to be a low-impact issue for them.
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, when I was in university, I usually spent almost 1.30
hours
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, or sometimes 2
hours
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, from my place to my university. Even though it is quite a far distance, I prefer living at home with my family
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of staying at dorm. In conclusion, some individuals think travelling longer distances is a negative development because of the effects on their performance.
While
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some disagree because of the time spent with family.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. The second side is shorter than the first side.
task response
Give your opinion in the conclusion too, not only in the introduction.
task response
Use more direct ideas about study as well as work, because the topic is about both.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea very clear at the start of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, however, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order, because some parts are not smooth and easy to follow.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You used examples from real life to support your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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