Some people think government should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discussion both views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary era,
people
are inclined towards adventurous
sports
sparked a debate where proponents argue that it should be banned
whereas
, others advocate that
people
should decide for themselves about the risk involved.
This
essay will explore both the views and as far as my opinion is concerned, I favour the latter statement.
To begin
with, the first perspective is that the the government should ban life-threatening
sports
like sky diving, river rafting etc. Many incidents have been seen in the recent past where
people
lost their lives because of
this
negligence.
For example
,
last
month a boy lost his life
while
experiencing river rafting at Rishikesh because of lesser safety equipment. Though it was a rare case where thousands of
people
enjoy these
sports
every month without any harm, still
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
a life is an important matter so the government should enforce strict validations on
such
sports
to ensure
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high quality of safety.
On the other hand
, youth should have the freedom to enjoy
such
sports
without any limitations to explore the adventure involved. Young
people
enjoy the thrilling experience involved in
such
activities and love to create those lifetime memories.
For instance
, many national and international breath-taking
sports
are available for
people
who want to take risks on their own worldwide.
Moreover
, millions of
people
enjoy them and travel overseas for different
such
activities by their will.
This
conveys that
people
should own their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to enjoy every bit of it.
To conclude
, I would like to assert that, many adventurous
sports
do involve high risk and still
people
strive to enjoy
such
sports
and like to create memories,
however
, I believe the government should enforce strict policies and validations to follow high standard security measures at the same time
people
should allow to enjoy these
sports
as per their own will.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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introduction
Consider providing a more nuanced introduction that presents the two sides of the argument in a clearer, more detailed manner.
body paragraphs
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples that are directly related to the topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay, allowing ideas and paragraphs to connect more smoothly with one another.
examples
Furnish your arguments with more specific and varied examples to clearly illustrate your points and make your essay more persuasive.
conclusion
Work on the conclusion to summarize the main points more effectively and provide a clear statement of your opinion, reinforcing it with a strong final sentence.
style
Consistently maintain the formal register and style throughout the essay, avoiding informal phrases and contractions to keep the tone appropriate for the academic task.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • risk assessment
  • legislation
  • adrenaline junkie
  • extreme sports
  • regulatory measures
  • personal autonomy
  • cultural significance
  • hazardous
  • injury prevention
  • public health expenditure
  • safety equipment
  • informed consent
  • liberty
  • thrill-seeking
  • paternalism
  • economic impact
  • heritage preservation
  • safety protocols
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