Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe

competition

Use synonyms

is important

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

daily lives,

while

Linking Words

others think collaboration is more powerful.Is

competition

Use synonyms

essential for

humans

Use synonyms

Humans

Use synonyms

can improve performances and can reach their targets quickly

working

Change preposition

by working

show examples

with

competition

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I believe that cooperation

, which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

helps to reduce working stress and pressure so that

people

Use synonyms

can improve teamwork. On the one hand, some percentage of

people

Use synonyms

believe that they can improve performances working with

competition

Use synonyms

,which is important to complete their targets before reaching the deadline.

Therefore

Linking Words

, those are helpful to success

humans

Use synonyms

lives.

For example

Linking Words

,when I was at university ,I had a friend

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

whose name is kamal and we worked competitively.

Consequently

Linking Words

,we could get higher grades for our final exam so that I can apply master’s degree in Australia, which I have achieved the greatest thing in my life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

want to minimise their stress levels and pressure, they can work

with

Change preposition

show examples

cooperation.It would be helpful to increase

the teamworking

Replace the word

teamwork

while

Linking Words

employers are working in the workplace.

Although

Linking Words

competition

Use synonyms

has increased rapidly, most

people

Use synonyms

would like to work with others.

For instance

Linking Words

,when I met a university friend in the train ,we discussed

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

his working expeirience and I supposed that teamworking is the crucial thing which is very important to build a friendly environment.

Moreover

Linking Words

,our

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

can be converted

our

Change preposition

into our

show examples

favourite place with

this

Linking Words

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

humans

Use synonyms

have

competition

Use synonyms

with each other naturally,they can improve their cooperative attributes so that

people

Use synonyms

can mitigate

their stressfulness

Replace the word

stressful

things that help to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

’s life stage and we should try to improve our cooperation skills.

tharinduaushanemail

Apr 18, 2026

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task response

Answer the full question more clearly. Say why cooperation is better, but also explain if competition is essential or not in a direct way.

task response

Make your main idea in each body paragraph very clear. Put one clear topic sentence, then explain it, then give one example.

task response

Use examples that are more direct and easy to understand. Some examples now are too personal and not fully explained.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good.

coherence and cohesion

Some linking is used, like On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Many sentences are too long or not joined well. Break long sentences into shorter ones so your meaning is clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas do not connect smoothly. Check how one sentence leads to the next, and make sure each point supports the main idea of the paragraph.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give your opinion.

task response

You include examples from life to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear beginning and ending.

coherence and cohesion

You use basic paragraphing and linking words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Face-to-face meetings with people are much more effective than meetings held on the telephone or via the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that fat and obese people should be eliminate because the Earth can be eaten by them. Do you agree with this view?

In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kind of work. Some people regard this is completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views

some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people thinks that success is much related to mental attitude. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all the time including holidays. Do you think the advantages of this are more than its disadvantages?