IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Societies produce more waste as they become more developed. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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owadays producing more waste in developed
countries
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 has been one of the major issues in many parts of the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
dicuss
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discuss
 the root
case
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cause
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 of
this
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 phenomenon and solutions to mitigate the negative effects. There are several reasons why producing more waste
in
Verb problem
produced in
show examples
 developed
countries
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. The main culprit of
this
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 phenomenon is
fast-paced
Correct article usage
a fast-paced
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 life.
For instance
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, office workers usually prefer to make an order by delivering
meal
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a meal
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due to
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 their busy and tremendous
work load
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workload
. In
this
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 case, they produce a lot of plastics and single-use items. To mitigate these
problem
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problems
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, government regulation which impose a tax on
plastic
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 or single-use items are needed. In
real
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reality
, in some
countries
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,
government
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governments
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 impose
"
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a "plastic
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plastic
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 tax" which impose single
plastic
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 cup in cafe to 1 to 2 dollars each. Another reason is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive packaging. In developed
countries
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, people
afford
Verb problem
can afford
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 to buy and tend to purchase more goods compared to those in developing
countries
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. All
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this
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these
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 items are packaged
a
Change preposition
in a
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lot of
plastic
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,
vynyl
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vinyl
, and boxes. To tackle
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 problems,
it should be encouraged people
Correct word order
people should be encouraged
show examples
 to choose naked products or
minimize
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minimise
show examples
 packaging. Recently, the shop where provide products packaged by only a
sheets
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sheet
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 of
newpaper
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newspaper
 has
been
Wrong verb form
apply
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appeared
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it's been a
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 culture. In conclusion, all in all, it is a serious issue, and it takes
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 amount of time and concerted effort from individuals and
government
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the government
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. I am convinced that it is imperative to take immediate action in order to solve
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 severe problems and situations in developed
countries
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You say why waste grows and what can be done, but each part needs more full ideas.
task response
Give clearer main ideas in each body part. Start the part with one clear point, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to trust. For example, name one rule, one shop system, or one daily habit and show how it cuts waste.
coherence and cohesion
Make your links smoother. Some lines jump fast from cause to fix. Add simple link words like because, so, as a result, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form. Some sentences are hard to follow, so your message is not always clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use one idea in one paragraph. In body 1, keep the cause and the fix in a clear order. In body 2, do the same.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear essay shape: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You answer both questions in the task, so the reader can see your main plan.
task response
You use real-world ideas like food delivery, plastic tax, and less packaging.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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