IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently applied for two separate jobs. Both have chosen to hire you, but you must write a letter to one of them explaining why you are unable to take the position. Include in your letter: – An apology – An explanation of your situation

#two #jobs #position #apology #explanation #situation
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Hello Sir/Madam, I’m writing to inform you that I
also
Linking Words
 have an offer from another company. I
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been thinking for a very long time because both offers are very attractive. I like your company because it is a fast developing and successful startup and your office has a good location. But I chose another job. There is a higher salary and a lot of benefits
such
Linking Words
 as medical insurance, a free gym, a free lunch, and the possibility to work from home. It is a really big company and I hope to improve my hard skills there. They offered me a really interesting project dedicated to integration with banks. It is very important for me to have a good income and improve my competence. Thank you for your time. I hope you’ll find a great candidate and close a position soon. All the best. Sincerely, Nadezhda Eliseeva.
Submitted by aboykova13 on

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coherence cohesion
Include a clearer transition between expressing interest in the company and explaining the decision to accept another offer. This will enhance the logical flow of the letter.
task achievement
Personalize the apology more; for example, acknowledge any inconvenience caused by your decision. This will make the tone more considerate and sincere.
suitable writing tone
The letter is polite and respectful throughout, maintaining a tone appropriate for professional communication.
logical structure
The structure of the letter follows a clear pattern: greeting, reason for writing, explanation, and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gratitude
  • regret
  • unfortunately
  • opportunity
  • decision
  • career goals
  • personal circumstances
  • alignment
  • difficult choice
  • future opportunities
  • stay connected
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