IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Internet usage has become prevalent nowadays. Social
media
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 apps
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook and others help
people
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 to communicate,
while
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 I believe, even though
people
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 are getting more accustomed to it, social
media
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 has some beneficial sides. There are clear drawbacks in
usage of apps overwhelmingly
Correct word order
the overwhelming use of apps
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. First of all,
people
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 spend hours chatting with their peers, sending
short
Punctuation problem
short,
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 hilarious videos, without paying attention to real communication. In some cases, they locate each other very close
,
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;
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however
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, they prefer to just scroll down on social
media
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.
This
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 repercussion is not only affecting their relationship and manners, but
also
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 it largely creates detrimental issues for their health. As they stay in one position for an extended period of time, they get fat without appropriate
movements
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movement
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.
Moreover
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, long hours of screen time
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
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 their eye vision, creating serious problems in the
upcoming
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apply
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future.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 shows its
aids
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aid
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 to humanity in
this
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 contemporary world. One upside of social
media
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 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 chance to communicate with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 who are located far from them. It helps to rekindle relationships among
people
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,
get
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and get
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 information about their health and condition. Not only for family reasons, but
also
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 for business
terms
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reasons
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.
Instead
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 of spending thousands of dollars on flights, business communities just discuss essential plans through their social
media
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 accounts. It's clear that they tackle the issue without even spending a cent.
On the contrary
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, it can be used in educational spheres. More and more students nowadays purchase online courses, study online by screen in their
houses
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homes
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, reducing transportation fees.
To sum up
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, if social
media
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 is used correctly, it generates more income and saves humans’ valuable time. Unless
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 used for meaningless
contents
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content
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can play only
negative
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a negative
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 role on those
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
people
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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if good sides are more than bad sides, or not, in the first part and the end.
task response
Give one or two clear examples to support each main idea.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence cohesion
Check paragraph unity. Some sentences move away from the main point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You discuss both bad sides and good sides of social media.
coherence cohesion
Some linking words are used well, such as first of all, moreover, and on the other hand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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