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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that individuals have different perspectives on the purpose of a career. Some
people
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 believe that work should be driven by personal
passion
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 and interest,
while
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 others argue that a job is primarily a means of earning a living. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support pursuing
passion
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 in a career provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent benefits is that individuals who enjoy their work are more motivated and productive. To illustrate, when
people
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 are passionate about their jobs, they are more likely to invest time and effort into improving their skills.
For instance
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, artists, entrepreneurs, or professionals who follow their interests often demonstrate higher levels of creativity and long-term job satisfaction, which can contribute to personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 and success. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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 have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that financial stability is essential for meeting basic needs and maintaining a secure lifestyle. To clarify, not all passions can provide sufficient income, and relying solely on interest may lead to financial difficulties.
For example
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, individuals who choose careers based only on
passion
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 may struggle to support themselves or their families if their chosen field offers limited opportunities.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 prioritise stable and well-paying jobs to ensure long-term security. To recapitulate, it is evident that some
people
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 value
passion
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 because it leads to motivation and personal satisfaction,
while
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 others prioritise financial stability as a necessity for daily life. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that
while
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 pursuing
passion
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 is ideal, it should be balanced with practical considerations to ensure both
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
 and financial security.

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task response
Give a more clear own view in the main body, not only at the end.
task response
Add one more real and clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your points a bit more deeply, so each main idea feels more full.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care, because some parts sound a little formal and fixed.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body start more directly with the main point.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are smooth, but a few ideas could connect in a more natural way.
task response
You answer both sides of the question clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a clear order from start to end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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