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Band 7.5

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #person #support
Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with
this
 statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to
support
 your opinion. Doing an offence becomes a permanent identification of a criminal
according to
 a section of
society
.
However
,
due to
 changing mindsets, taking strict
punishments
 and getting
support
 from
society
, I believe
criminals
 leave the world of crime. Primarily, the mindsets of many offenders have been changed completely.
This
 is because the government is running many rehabilitation programs to instil some moral values in wrong-doers so they would not do illegal activities again. By taking these programs, offenders can have a fresh start in their lives.
For example
, a survey report in 2020 shows that most
criminals
 have altered their thought processes
while
 attending some welfare events in jail and become more ethical.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 modifying the thinking process of
criminals
, another reason for becoming a non-offender is the hard
punishments
 given by the prison authorities. Since the law-breakers are put behind bars, they not only face difficult living situations there
such
 as a single hard bed, a poor diet and just a small room which lacks other luxury facilities but
also
 do unpaid hard work.
This
 teaches a lesson to them.
In addition
 to
this
, the
society
 offers
support
 for some
criminals
. As they are allowed to live in
society
 after their
punishments
, they can work anywhere and develop sound relationships with others.
Therefore
, they become a responsible citizen. In conclusion, some people think that
criminals
 never become good citizens,
whereas
 I would argue
this
 because there is a complete modification in the mindsets of
criminals
 who already completed their
punishments
 for wrongdoings
along with
 the
support
 of
society
.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses the prompt and provides clear arguments with good examples. However, consider adding a counterargument to provide a more balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Enhance connection between sentences and paragraphs for even smoother flow. Use transition words and phrases to maintain a logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and effectively sets the stage for the essay, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points, displaying coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples and well-supported arguments that strengthen your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • recidivism
  • therapy
  • stigmatization
  • reoffending
  • accountability
  • support programs
  • proactive steps
  • personal choice
  • societal barriers
  • reform
  • transformation
  • opportunities
  • environment
  • social support
  • success stories
  • examples
  • criminal behavior
  • stereotype
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