IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Although more and more people use public transport. Some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? What is your opinion and relevant examples?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In the modern world, it is undeniable that
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 remains a serious problem in many cities, even though an increasing number of people
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 situation highlights the limitations of current
transport
Use synonyms
systems
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the causes of
this
Linking Words
 issue and suggest possible solutions. One of the most apparent causes of
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 is the continued reliance on private
vehicles
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, many individuals prefer to
use
Use synonyms
 cars
due to
Linking Words
 convenience, comfort, and flexibility.
For instance
Linking Words
, public
transport
Use synonyms
systems
Use synonyms
 in some cities may be overcrowded, unreliable, or not well-connected, which discourages people from using them regularly.
In addition
Linking Words
, rapid urbanisation and population growth have increased the number of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 on the road, making
congestion
Use synonyms
 more severe despite improvements in public
transport
Use synonyms
. The main solution that should not be overlooked is that governments should improve public
transport
Use synonyms
systems
Use synonyms
 and implement stricter
traffic
Use synonyms
 management policies. To clarify, expanding
transport
Use synonyms
 networks, increasing frequency, and improving reliability can encourage more people to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, cities that invest in efficient metro
systems
Use synonyms
 and dedicated bus lanes often experience reduced
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, policies
such
Linking Words
 as
congestion
Use synonyms
 charges, higher parking fees, and restrictions on private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in city centres can discourage excessive car
use
Use synonyms
 and promote more sustainable travel behaviour. To recapitulate, it is evident that
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 is mainly caused by reliance on private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and limitations in public
transport
Use synonyms
systems
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 effective solutions include improving infrastructure and implementing stricter regulations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that a combination of better public
transport
Use synonyms
 and strong government policies is essential to reduce
congestion
Use synonyms
 and create more efficient urban environments.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your answer more direct. In the first body part, say more clearly why people still use cars.
task response
Give one more real and clear example. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Your opinion is clear at the end, but you can show it earlier too.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some link words sound too formal and repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make each main idea stand out more with one clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.
task response
You answer both parts of the question.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and on topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: