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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the gross domestic product of four countries in 2005 and 2010

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The graph displays countries like
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
China
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, Germany, and Japan in gross domestic product from 2005 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 had the highest
GDP
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 in both years among the other countries. All the countries rose by 2010, but
China
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over a
Verb problem
rose by more than
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 double during
5
Correct article usage
the 5
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years. In detail, in 2005
USA
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 was the primary
country
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over around 13000
Correct word order
with a GDP of around 13000
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GDP
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, and
China
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 was the lowest
approximately
Correct word order
, with a GDP of approximately
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 below 2500GDP
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 Japan was the second highest
over
Correct word order
, with a GDP of over
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 4000GDP,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and
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 Germany was relatively above 2500GDP. Moving on,
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 remained the number one
country
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 with just over 14000GDP with
significant
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a significant
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 difference ,
Linking Words
however
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apply
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China
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 increased significantly through five years period and became the
second highest
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second-highest
country
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, compared
Punctuation problem
. Compared
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 to
2005s
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2005
, it was the
last
Linking Words
country
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 with the lowest
GDP
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.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
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, Japan
was
Verb problem
apply
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sharply rose around 5500GPD, and Germany
was
Verb problem
apply
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improved with no remarkable increase achieved, which is the lowest
between
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among
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 the others
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and
China
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, china, gdp, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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