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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Competition
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in many areas of life, including the workplace, education, and daily activities.
While
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 some people believe that
competition
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 encourages individuals to improve themselves quickly and prepare for future challenges, others argue that
cooperation
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial for working efficiently and promoting long-term employment. In my opinion,
although
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competition
Use synonyms
 can be motivating,
cooperation
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged more as it leads to more sustainable and positive outcomes. On the one hand,
competition
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 brings several benefits to individuals. One major advantage is that it encourages people to improve themselves rapidly. In the workplace,
competition
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 creates an enthusiastic environment that motivates employees to develop their skills and engage in continuous self-improvement.
Moreover
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,
competition
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 at school helps students prepare for the job market in the future. Students who are familiar with competitive environments are more likely to cope with stress and handle challenging situations, which enables them to stay focused on their goals rather than feeling anxious.
On the other hand
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,
cooperation
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 offers significant advantages in many situations. It creates a supportive working environment where team members can focus on their shared goals and utilise their skills more effectively.
As a result
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, organisations are able to operate more efficiently.
In addition
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,
cooperation
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 promotes long-term employment, as working in a team helps build strong relationships between colleagues.
This
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 sense of connection encourages employees to remain with the company for a long period, which contributes to greater stability and better
overall
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 performance. In conclusion,
although
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competition
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 helps individuals improve quickly and prepare for future challenges, I believe that
cooperation
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 provides greater benefits because it leads to more sustainable outcomes and a more supportive working environment.

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task response
Add one real and clear example in each body part.
task response
Explain your main ideas a bit more deeply.
task response
Your opinion is clear, but you can show it more strongly in body part two.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care so each idea grows step by step.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are general. Add one more detail to support them.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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