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Writing Samples
Band 5

An increasing number of professionals, such as teachers and doctors, are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of these problems? What solutions can you suggest?

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An increasing number of
professionals
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as teachers and doctors, are leaving their own
countries
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
. What are the causes of these problems? What solutions can you suggest? Recently, one of the rising problems faced by many
countries
Use synonyms
 is
numerous
Correct word choice
that numerous
show examples
professionals
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as teachers and
doctors
Punctuation problem
doctors,
show examples
 are moving out of their native country to modern and more developed
countries
Use synonyms
. Reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 kind of situation may be various, from personal to professional,
for instance
Linking Words
, unfair salaries or lack of opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, solutions might be solved by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as increasing the equipment or giving more opportunities. As we look for the causes of
this
Linking Words
 growing issue, it is evident that
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
professionals
Use synonyms
 are being treated unfairly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is a setback in their way to explore and invent. One of the main reasons is low salary.
For example
Linking Words
, teachers. They pour all of their energy
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 teaching
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sometimes they get health issues,
such
Linking Words
 as stress or continuous exhaustion. But the payment for their hard
work
Use synonyms
 is not always enough
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 often their talents get buried under depression
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 could be priceless if they got enough opportunity to do so. Most of the
researches
Replace the word
researchers
 have been turned down or have not been taken seriously
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 reduces confidence and interest, so they deserve to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the right place
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 often
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 solution is leaving the country for somewhere they can show their talents and feel appreciated. I can give my own accounting teacher as an example. He is Indian but came to our country to teach us
accounting
Correct article usage
the accounting
show examples
 subject
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 we take 3 weeks per year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 from
joy
Correct article usage
the joy
show examples
 in his eyes and his interesting ways to teach clearly, I could tell he likes it here because his
work
Use synonyms
 is appreciated.
However
Linking Words
, there are always solutions for
such
Linking Words
 problems; they may be simpler and closer than we think. I personally think
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should step up at
this
Linking Words
 point because
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 solution is
rising
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 the salaries and giving a chance for
professionals
Use synonyms
 to
perform
Verb problem
use
show examples
 their abilities.
For instance
Linking Words
,
organizing
Change the spelling
organising
show examples
 various interesting competitions where they can present their
researches
Replace the word
research
 and skills or creating debate teams for
professionals
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
, rewarding their
work
Use synonyms
 in the end.
This
Linking Words
 way
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 can feel motivated and encouraged. In conclusion, the migration of
professionals
Use synonyms
 from developing
countries
Use synonyms
 is a serious issue that
caused
Verb problem
is mainly caused
show examples
mainly from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 low salaries and a lack of recognition. If
this
Linking Words
 trend continues, poorer nations will struggle to provide quality education and healthcare for their citizens.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem is not unsolvable. By increasing wages, providing better resources, and creating platforms where
professionals
Use synonyms
 can showcase their talents, governments can make their
countries
Use synonyms
 more attractive for skilled workers to stay. Ultimately, when
professionals
Use synonyms
 feel valued and respected in their own homeland, they will have little reason to leave.

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task response
Answer both parts more evenly. You explain causes well, but solutions need more full support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are good, but a few sentences are too long and hard to follow. Split them into shorter sentences.
task response
Examples are relevant, but one personal example is a bit long. Use shorter and more direct examples.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, however, and therefore.
task response
Make sure each main point is fully explained before moving to the next one.
task response
You answer the question and discuss both causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is strong and clearly restates the main ideas.
task response
The main cause of low pay is explained in a clear way.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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