It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages.

In
this
contemporary era, it is often argued that citizens should take
risks
in their professional
lives
as well as
their private
lives
. In
this
essay, I will argue that these factor's benefits outweigh the drawbacks in terms of the possibility of becoming successful.
To begin
with, it is widely believed that taking an adventure in people’s professional life is the main key because humans can experience different kinds of experiences during the period.
For example
, India-based airline company Indigo were suffering financial losses
due to
various events. Meanwhile, even after having catastrophic losses owner Rahul Bhatia decided to take loans from various banks to purchase 500 aircraft from Airbus.
Furthermore
, they decided to sell 300 aircraft to different companies in higher amounts than they purchased.
This
is the typical example of people who struggle in business and those who receive success. Another significant effect of taking rub is on private
lives
. It is commonly believed that
,
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people should always take adventurous ways in order to receive personal achievements. It is because
,
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people will get a chance to implement constant creativity in personal life by taking
risks
.
For instance
, Jamaican athlete Usain Bolt was suffering from hamstring injury right before the Olympics which was about to be held in Rio in 2016.
This
is to say that, during that time Bolt decided not to have any surgery for his injury and left as it was until the Olympics finished.
In addition
, his decision to take turns was his successful achievement which
further
led him to the Gold medal in running.
Therefore
, it indicates the perfect example of taking
risks
and rewarding success in individual
lives
. To encapsulate, I firmly believe that the benefits of taking
risks
outweigh the detriments
due to
the more likely to become outstanding. Taking
risks
not only benefits professional
lives
but
also
develops personal
lives
.
Submitted by cranjal07 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you maintain consistent use of tenses to improve clarity. For example, 'were suffering' should be 'was suffering' in the context given.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with the use of possessive forms. 'these factor's benefits' should be 'these factors' benefits'.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid small grammatical errors and improve readability. Incorrect expressions like 'taking an adventure' should be corrected to 'taking risks'.
task achievement
You provide detailed and relevant examples that effectively support your main points, such as the Indigo airlines and Usain Bolt examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a well-rounded structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • growth
  • innovation
  • achievement
  • comfort zone
  • security
  • failure
  • success
  • uncertainty
  • challenges
  • decision-making
  • courage
  • calculated risks
  • consequences
  • fear
  • regret
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