Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientist in today’s world. Do you agree or disagree?

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Its argued that entertainers are significantly important than experts in today's world. I firmly disagree with the statment and I will clear up my reasons in the essay.
Scientistes
Correct your spelling
Scientists
have a great impact on our lives.They always try harder each day to save us and creat miracles.
For instance
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, during the Corona virus pandemic lots of lives were lost and people started losing hope unil experts and doctors created vaccines that have saved millions of humans.
Moreover
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, we are gladly living peacefully becauce of them.
Furthermore
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, experts have made our life easier by
invesments
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investments
that
assists
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assist
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humans. We can travel distances by a small amount of time. Plus, vechiles that gets us anywhere we want and mobile phones that keeps us connected to our loved ones.
In addition
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, technology has been developed on the hands of scientists. Creations of technologies like dishwashers and washing machines have saved us lots of time and effort.
However
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, it's believed that entertainers are pure therapy to humans minds and depression.
Therefore
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, individuals tend to sprint to entertainers to enjoy their time and black out from reality.
For example
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, I love watching comedy shows whenever I am feeling down, it really does help with recovery.
To sum up
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, scientists are essential in our lives. They assist
for
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in
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a simpler and safer life, by their
invesments
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investments
and effort. I believe they are truly fundemental.

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task response
State your main idea in a more clear way in the first line.
task response
Explain each main point more fully so the reader can see why scientists matter more.
task response
Add one more clear example for your second body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully so each idea flows to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it step by step.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion.
task response
You included both sides, which helps show balance.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used examples like the pandemic and comedy shows to support ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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