IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #surveillance
Nowadays, it's commonplace that
CCTV
cameras
 are installed on each corner of the streets to reduce the crime rate, but many argue that it's against the freedom of humanity. I believe that the merits of video
cameras
 in metropolis outweigh the drawbacks. There are three main reasons why the installation of
CCTV
cameras
 in public places might not be a popular idea among people.
Firstly
, with the existence of video
cameras
 all over the
city
, people's privacy could be invaded, as
CCTV
cameras
 could be considered intrusive elements monitoring us throughout the day.
Secondly
, the activities of police members tend to be reduced, which is
due to
 the state's trust in these camera types. Without police members patrolling the streets, the crime rate can be increased.
Lastly
, the data saved in the memory of these devices might be stolen by hackers. The stolen information would be an extreme threat to citizens in order to act against them. Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe monitoring the public areas is a positive measure. By using
CCTV
cameras
, the security of the
city
 would be guaranteed, as they can deter crime. To be exact, the
cameras
 can prevent petty criminals,
such
 as shoplifters, pickpockets, and traffic offenders, from committing
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 because they will not perform in places where they know that they are being watched.
In addition
, the videos could be considered as evidence in order to catch the suspects and
also
 prosecute the criminals.
Therefore
, in my view,
cameras
 offer valuable support to police officers to make the
city
 safer for dwellers. In conclusion, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the security that the installation of
CCTV
cameras
 brings to our
city
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task achievement
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the essay question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. General statements are helpful but integrating concrete examples can strengthen your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: