IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why it might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

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Purchasing a property rather than renting one is important for people in many countries,
they
Correct word choice
as they
show examples
 feel
as
Correct word choice
that
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 outright owning it would be a better investment
rather
Correct word choice
apply
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than throwing away your hard earned cash
in
Change preposition
on
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 renting. You
also
Linking Words
 have the freedom to do whatever you want with the property.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
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 I think it's a positive trend as people are now more
well awared
Correct word choice
aware
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 financially. One of the key perks of owning your own
home
Use synonyms
 is that it's an investment that can go up in value over
some
Correct determiner usage
a
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 period of time. Real estate has been a hot topic in recent years as more and more houses are seeing an uprise in prices
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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 same can be said with renting
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 rent is getting expensive and leaves you with nothing after the contract expires.
For example
Linking Words
, many properties that are in major cities are going up in price
due to
Linking Words
 the attractions and the projects that
.
Verb problem
are.
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 Another key point to
this
Linking Words
 argument is the freedom and creativity you get from owning a
home
Use synonyms
. You are your own landlord, you have the power to change, remodel and even renovate your place. Renting leaves you at the hands of your landlord
that
Correct pronoun usage
, who
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 may have some rules and guidelines that
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to be followed.
Due to
Linking Words
 that
many
Punctuation problem
, many
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 individuals find it hard to explore new ways to freshen up the
home
Use synonyms
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 many individuals think that owning a
home
Use synonyms
 rather than renting one is more important
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I believe that I stand with
this
Linking Words
trend
Punctuation problem
trend,
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 as we can see more financial gains and freedom rather than renting
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be a little frustrating
due to
Linking Words
 the rules and guidelines that need to be followed.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully: why this is important and if it is good or bad.
task response
Use clearer examples. One example is not finished, so the point feels weak.
task response
Develop each main idea with one clear reason and one simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Do not join long ideas with only commas. Make shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main point only.
task response
You give a clear opinion that this is a positive trend.
task response
You write about two good reasons: money and freedom.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, body paragraphs, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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