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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart give information about Estimated world illiteracy rates, by regionand by gender, last year

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The bar chart give information about Estimated world illiteracy rates, by regionand by gender, last year
The bar chart indicates information about
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 rates around the world
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Developed countries, Latin
American
Replace the word
America
, East
Asia
Use synonyms
, Africa,
Use synonyms
Arab
Correct article usage
the Arab
show examples
 and South
Asia
Use synonyms
. They regionanded by gender
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, Developed countries show the least percentage of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 in both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. The gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 genders reached
the
Correct article usage
its
show examples
 lowest among the 6 regions
too
Punctuation problem
, too
show examples
. Both bars are nearest to 0,
while
Linking Words
Arab
Use synonyms
 and South
Asia
Use synonyms
 aboved 50, respectively. Africa,
Arab
Use synonyms
 and South
Asia
Use synonyms
's
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 was much higher than
any
Correct pronoun usage
that of any
show examples
 other
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
, and
campared
Correct your spelling
compared
 to the 3 regions, South
Asia
Use synonyms
 peaked in all aspects, with 34
of
Check wording
per cent of
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and 56
of
Check wording
per cent of
show examples
 female respectively.
Moreoverm
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, female illiterary rated more than half in
Arab
Use synonyms
 and in South
Asia
Use synonyms
. In East
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Oceania, the total
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 was low, but the gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 genders is
big relatively
Correct word order
relatively big
show examples
. The percentage of
male
Check wording
males
show examples
 was only 8, but
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 reached 20, 12% more than that of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, asia, arab with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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