IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are moving to a new city for work and have just realized that an old friend lives in the city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Ask them for advice in finding accommodation Tell them where you would like to live Tell them the type of place you are looking for You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ___,

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Dear April, How are you? I hope you're doing well. I've been thinking about moving to your
city
Use synonyms
 for the past three weeks. Because I'm going to work in your
city
Use synonyms
 as a security guard. As you know, I'm not familiar with your
city
Use synonyms
, so I want your recommendation about the
city
Use synonyms
. Are there any good websites or apps to find a
place
Use synonyms
 to live? First of all, I want to live in the middle of the
city
Use synonyms
. Because it will be useful for me to go somewhere,
such
Linking Words
 as a restaurant and
laundry
Correct article usage
a laundry
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, my
place
Use synonyms
 should be near my office.
Moreover
Linking Words
, my son has to go to school in the future, so I want to know the nearest school to my
place
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, I'd prefer to stay in the apartment rather than live in a detached house until I get used to staying in the
city
Use synonyms
. That's why I'm looking for a
place
Use synonyms
 included everything, like furniture and
kitchen
Correct article usage
a kitchen
show examples
. I look forward to meeting you. Take care of yourself. My friend, Kazuya

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task response
Task response: Answer all parts in a more clear way. Say what area you want, why you want it, and what home you need.
task response
Task response: Use a more natural letter tone. For example, ask your friend in a warm and direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Do not start many lines with 'Because'. Join ideas into one full sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words well, like 'also', 'so', and 'because'.
task response
Task response: You answer all three bullet points.
task response
Task response: The tone is friendly and right for a letter to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph mostly has one main idea.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation
  • area
  • rent
  • flat
  • shared apartment
  • city centre
  • near my office
  • safe
  • quiet
  • low-cost
  • public transport
  • landlord
  • real estate agent
  • furnished
  • kitchen
  • internet
  • move in
  • daily travel
  • advice
  • recommend
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