IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think children should learn to paint and draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that
school
Correct subject-verb agreement
schools
show examples
 should teach children painting and drawing.
That is
Linking Words
 because artistic skills,
such
Linking Words
 as painting and drawing, can enhance children`s creativity, providing them with a
sophisticate
Replace the word
sophisticated
 way of personal expression and emotional release. On top of that, learning to paint and draw contributes to children`s
overall
Linking Words
 development, including fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination, which are crucial for many academic and daily tasks. In
comparision
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comparison
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 people who believe art education is not
neccessary
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necessary
due to
Linking Words
 other prior subjects like math, science, etc. Educational
resouces
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resources
 are quite limited these days, so it might be more efficient if we focus more on subjects that directly contribute to economic success,
such
Linking Words
 as STEM fields, rather than art. In my opinion, exposure to the arts in
early
Correct article usage
the early
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stage
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stages
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 of life has
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 effect on a person`s achievement throughout
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 entire life, especially in a world where creativity drives innovation.
Thus
Linking Words
, arts education should not be seen as a diversion but as a vital component of education that prepares children for a future
whre
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where
 creative
copetencies
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competencies
 are essential.

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task response
Write a clear start that shows both sides of the topic.
task response
Add one real or clear example for each side.
task response
Explain your opinion more with one extra reason.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'therefore' more carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph opening so each one has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas connect more smoothly from one sentence to the next.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your own opinion.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The ending gives your final view clearly.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • personal expression
  • emotional release
  • overall development
  • fine motor skills
  • hand-eye coordination
  • academic performance
  • STEM fields
  • well-rounded
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • innovation
  • arts education
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