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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people fail to maintain balance with work and other aspects of life. What are the reasons for failure? Explain how can it be solved?

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Work
Use synonyms
-life balance is always
on
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apply
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debatable
,
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;
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 some people
work
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 to live,
while
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 others live to
work
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.
As a result
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, there isn't a clear understanding
on
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of
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 how to find the right balance.
Therefore
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, a unified solving method can not be achieved, because it is different for each person. In
this
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 essay, we will elaborate on the main reason for the disproportion between
work
Use synonyms
 and life and how to adjust it.
Firstly
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, poorly time-management is a crucial reason behind it, as we grow up and experience different stages in our lives, it is very
impotrant
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important
 to learn how to manage various
responsbilities
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responsibilities
, whether it is
work
Use synonyms
, family, friends, and most imporatnly a one's self. The first step towards it is to acknowledge the
priorties
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priorities
,
then
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 set a plan to complete the tasks
accordingly
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, it
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. It
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 is a skill that constantly needs development depending on the current
circumstanses
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circumstances
. In the long-term, living a non-balanced lifestyle
,
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apply
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 could lead to burnout and eventually costs a one's health and mental
well being
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well-being
.
Therefore
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, individuals must be aware of the disadvantages before it is too late, because once a
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person's
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 character is
intergated
Verb problem
integrated
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 within
this
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 off-balanced way of
living
Punctuation problem
living,
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 it becomes very difficult to change it. In conclusion, everyone has various methods to balance their life, and what works for someone may not
work
Use synonyms
 with someone else. But in general, a person can identify their weakness
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such
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, such
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 as time management, and create a solution that
spicifically
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specifically
 works out for them.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the reason well, but the solution part is short.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Make each main point more clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some long sentences should be split into shorter ones.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and support it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check punctuation, because comma use sometimes makes ideas hard to follow.
task response
You answer the topic and stay on the main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
There is a clear main reason: poor time management.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion gives a final summary of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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