Some people think the government should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sports facilities for everybody. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that governments invest significant resources in developing
sports
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facilities
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. Some people believe that more funding should be directed towards elite
athletes
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,
while
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others argue that
facilities
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for the general public should be prioritised. In
this
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essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support investing in
facilities
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for top
athletes
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provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent reasons is that elite
sports
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can bring national pride and international recognition. To illustrate, successful
athletes
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often represent their countries in global competitions and enhance national reputation.
For instance
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, achievements in events
such
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as the Olympics can inspire citizens and promote a country’s image worldwide.
In addition
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, investing in professional training
facilities
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can help develop talent and improve performance at the highest level. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that public
sports
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facilities
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benefit a larger portion of the population. To clarify, accessible
facilities
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encourage people of all ages to engage in physical activity, which improves
overall
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health and well-being.
For example
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, parks, gyms, and community
sports
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centres can help reduce health problems
such
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as obesity and stress.
Furthermore
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, promoting widespread participation in
sports
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can
also
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lead to the natural development of future
athletes
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. To recapitulate, it is evident that investing in elite
sports
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can enhance national pride,
while
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public
facilities
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improve health and participation among the wider population. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that governments should prioritise
facilities
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for everyone, as
this
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approach provides greater long-term benefits for society as a whole.

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task response
Make your own view more clear earlier, not only in the end.
task response
Add one more strong and real example to support each main idea.
task response
Explain your points a little more deeply, not only in a general way.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care, because some are a bit formal and repeat the same pattern.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph grow from one main idea to the next in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your final opinion to your earlier points more directly.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
task response
Your essay stays on topic all the way.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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