IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe online education is better than traditional education. Do you agree or disagree?

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While
Linking Words
 there are some people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
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 that online
education
Use synonyms
 is
effective
Rephrase
more effective
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 than traditional
education
Use synonyms
. In my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because online learning leads to
influcence
Replace the word
influencing
 the
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
concentration
Use synonyms
 strongly and opens the doors for cheating
chance
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, online learning
lower
Verb problem
has a lower
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concentration
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to various concerns with the
education
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proccess
Correct your spelling
process
.
This
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 is to say that
majorty
Correct your spelling
the majority
 of
studnts
Correct your spelling
students
 will not pay attention during the online lecture
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they may listen to the lecture when they are busy. If
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 do not
concetrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 in
lecture
Correct article usage
the lecture
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, they will struggle with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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studying.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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 points and can not pass the exams
ultimately
Punctuation problem
, ultimately
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falling
Verb problem
resulting in failing
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 many courses.
For example
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, many
of
Change preposition
apply
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studies comparing undergraduate
studnts
Correct your spelling
students
 within online
education
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done
Verb problem
apply
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have
been
Wrong verb form
apply
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shown that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning online assocaite with many different
concentration
Use synonyms
 disorders. Another point to consider, online
education
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 is one of
key
Correct article usage
the key
show examples
 reason of increasing cheating among
students
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that, within physical
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education
Add a comma
education,
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 the
students
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 will be
montior
Correct your spelling
monitored
 by the
tearchers
Correct your spelling
teachers
.
Moreover
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, sometimes they would be
investigate
Wrong verb form
investigated
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 prior
the
Change preposition
to the
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 exam to
cofirms
Wrong verb form
confirm
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 that
students
Use synonyms
 do not have any tools for cheating .
because
Fix capitalization
Because
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 of what
are teachers
Correct word order
teachers are
show examples
 doing, it will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to fair chances for all
students
Use synonyms
 and none
have
Verb problem
will have
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 a grade
which
Correct pronoun usage
that they
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 do not deserve.
For instance
Linking Words
, during Covid 19
pandemic
Punctuation problem
pandemic,
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students
Use synonyms
 argue about how they
losing
Verb problem
are losing
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 the opportunities that they have been working hard
the
Change preposition
for,
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 taken by
edcuateers
Correct your spelling
educators
 who cheated. In conclusion, I strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that online
education
Use synonyms
 is not better than traditional
education
Use synonyms
. The reason is that
basically
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will lower
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
concentration
Use synonyms
 and it will rise cheating chances
significantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first line. Say your answer in a direct way.
task response
Add one more clear idea or explain each main idea more. This will make your answer feel more full.
task response
Use examples that are more real and easy to understand. Your example now is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a more smooth order. Some lines are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Some are good, but some parts still feel broken.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one strong main point, then explain it step by step.
task response
You give a clear answer and stay on one side of the topic.
task response
You include two main reasons for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion'.
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