IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average time spent by four car manufacturers to produce vehicles at their US factories.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The given line graph provides information about
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 hours manufacturing different cars
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as General
motor
Check wording
Motors
show examples
, Ford, Toyota and Honda
between
Punctuation problem
, between
show examples
 1998 and 2005. The data
measured
Verb problem
is measured
show examples
 in hours for every vehicle.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all categories experienced fluctuations.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
show examples
 almost all units showed
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 rate,
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in the final years they declined considerably. But some units experienced first an
ascend
Use the right word
ascent
show examples
. Looking
to the
Change preposition
at
show examples
 General Motors, it descended
32
Change preposition
from 32
show examples
 to 26, from 1998 to 2001 relatively.
between
Fix capitalization
Between
show examples
 2002 and
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
 it constituted around 25,
wile
Correct your spelling
while
 in
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 period
in
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 declined, accounting for 22. There was ascend from 28 to 32, between 1998
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2001 in the Ford. Until
ending
Replace the word
the end
, it dropped to 22. Both Toyota and Honda showed 22 in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 year.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 1999 and 2000, Toyota experienced a decline,
while
Linking Words
 Honda
constituted
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 an
ascend
Replace the word
ascent
.
However
Linking Words
, they represented
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 index, accounting for 22 in 2001. Both of them increased to 24 in 2002. From 2002 to 2005, there was a reduction
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
constituting
Change preposition
of
show examples
 20.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: