IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leasing to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary caused of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

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Humanities have exacerbated the extinction of
species
Use synonyms
 and enormously
given
Correct word choice
apply
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negative impact on
bio-diversity
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
. There is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
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, which is human activities related to economic efficiency.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
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apply
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the solution for environmental
sustainabilities
Correct your spelling
sustainability
. Human being has experienced dramatic
development
Use synonyms
, which was often related to harm nature environment.
In other words
Linking Words
,
corporates
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corporations
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 have used a large amount of fossil fuels to operate machines, which was accerated global warming
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to hollocost of lots of
species
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, making buildings and companies required to destroy the habitat of wild animals. I insist that the regulation of
development
Use synonyms
 should
enforce for
Wrong verb form
be enforced to
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 protect
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
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. For
instances
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instance
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,
corporate
Replace the word
corporations
 should follow the quota of carbon footprint and try to use
eco-friendly
Correct article usage
an eco-friendly
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 manufacturing system.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in academic fields, researchers would be invested more
who studying in
Correct word order
in studying
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 environmental disciplines
and
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apply
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put more effort to find how to coexist with other
species
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, for effective coexistence with various
species
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, including
human
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humans
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, People should not just focus on their economic
development
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, but give attention
for
Change preposition
to
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 environmental
sustainabilities
Correct your spelling
sustainability
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they have to make rules for balanced
development
Use synonyms
 and find a way for efficient coexistence. B2: solution - considering sustainability - ex) Con:

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about causes and solutions, but the ideas are short.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it more.
task response
Give a more specific example, not only general ideas like companies and research.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and finally.
task response
Check word choice and grammar because some sentences are hard to understand.
task response
You answer the question about causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main topic stays about nature and species loss.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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