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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, more people get married to someone of a different culture than they ever did. Why is this happenig? Discuss the benefits and demerits of this trend.

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In
modern
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the modern
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 world, marrying a person from another country is considered a usual thing in almost all parts around the globe.
While
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such
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 unions can present barriers and communication challenges, I believe the advantages of cultural grouping far outweigh the potential drawbacks. Since
then
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, many people fell into a discussion pit that has
endless
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an endless
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 bottom. Many support their
oppinions
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opinions
 based on their own experience, but usually there are two
opponent
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opposing
 and proponent groups that argue
wether
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whether
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 international marriage will consequence in positive or negative
side
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impact
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. In
todays
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today's
 essay
I
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, I
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will write about
pros
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the pros
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 and cons regarding previously spoken points of view. I will
also
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 give at least two reasons which can potentially explain why
this
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 is happening after all. First of all, official
bond
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bonds
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 between two individuals
disregarding
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, disregarding
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 their nationality, gender or
age
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age,
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 are strictly monitored in the world we live in. Reason number one is that in some countries
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such
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, such
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 as
United
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the United
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 States of America person can actually get
legal
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a legal
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 residency permit that will automatically make
you
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them
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 a citizen of that state. And
that is
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 why it is regulated on
such
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level
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a level
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, the law does not want you to accept the benefits that are provided for natives. Second cause actually lies in the common thing that we, all
humans
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humans,
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 share
love
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: love
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! Despite the fact that some individuals do so to make a profit themselves, humans make it happen just because they have a special connection
between
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with
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 each other. Focusing on benefits, intercultural marriages provide a unique environment for personal growth and tolerance. Both partners in
such
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 unions are exposed to different traditions, values and perspectives, which can enrich and
additionally
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 broaden their perception of life.
Furthermore
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, children raised in these households often have a bonus from a bilingual and multilingual upbringing.
This
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 not only provides them with a cognitive stimulation advantage, but
also
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 makes them more competitive assets in a globalised job market.
On the other hand
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 , many believe that
such
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 actions may
resolve
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result
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 in unwanted
by local authorities migrational flow
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migration by local authorities
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.
Additionally
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, there is no guarantee that a migrant will work and not just consume the resources of
a
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the
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 country he or she will be living in.
Moreover
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, what is considered respectful in one realm
,
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apply
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 might be perceived as
a
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an
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 offensive act in another, leading to unwanted confrontation.
Besides
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, some couples may face outside pressure or a lack of acceptance from traditional family members, which can put significant emotional stress. From my point of view, I agree with the fact that marriage is not about benefiting from
a
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apply
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foreign laws and environment. I think that it is only about personal emotions and love that people tend to have. In summary, the previously discussed points can turn in both positive and negative situations for both persons' and authorities' bodies. It is by far better not to judge a book by its cover and provide fair chances for everyone who is willing to go through a so-called legal procedure.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question more directly. Say clearly why this trend is happening, then give benefits and drawbacks in equal detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph. Now some parts go off topic or repeat the same point.
task response
Give simple and real examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like first, also, however, and in conclusion. Some sentences now feel broken or hard to connect.
task response
Keep your opinion the same from start to end. At times your view is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer. The reader should know the main point of the paragraph from the first line.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay has a full shape.
task response
You gave both good and bad sides of this trend, which fits the task.
task response
Some ideas are meaningful, like learning about other cultures and children knowing two languages.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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