Mental health is as important as physical health. To what extent do you agree?

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Some individuals assume that it is important to be mentally fit, and physical fitness doesn't matter.
This
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essay agrees that both aspects are correlated to each other, and are equally significant for a human being to be healthy.
Firstly
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, studies suggest that
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
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capacity of people greatly depends upon their physical activities and lifestyle.
This
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could include their work-life balance, drug consumption, and participation in outdoor activities.
For example
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,
according to
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the survey conducted by
University
Correct article usage
the University
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of Waterloo, many people who are facing depression are either suffering from drug abuse,
or
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apply
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obesity, or are isolated most of the
times
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time
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.
As a result
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, these practices lead to their mental health
getting
Verb problem
being
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affected negatively. So, in order to improvise mentally, a person has to start working out physically.
Additionally
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, it is the thought process that brings out the discipline to achieve the goals
,
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apply
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set out by a person. Many sports influencers like Cristiano Ronaldo
,
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apply
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or Lionel Messi, who became successful in football by gaining fitness, were only able to achieve it because they were determined mentally. It is only
due to
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their mental health that they were able to attain significant physical attributes.
Therefore
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, every aspect of
human
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the human
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body is essential, and should be taken care
off
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of
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. In conclusion, it is evident
to state
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apply
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that both mental and physical aspects are equally significant in nature
,
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apply
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and are directly proportional to each other. So, if one would have a positive
affect
Use the right word
effect
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,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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will grow automatically, and vice versa.

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task response
Task response: Your main view is clear, but the question asks how much you agree. Say this more directly and keep the same line all through the essay.
task response
Task response: Your ideas are good, but they need a bit more detail. Explain more clearly why mental health and physical health are equal in value, not only linked.
task response
Task response: Your examples fit the topic, but one example about real life or daily habits may feel stronger than famous sports stars.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some links are used well, like Firstly, Additionally, and In conclusion. Try to use a few more simple linking words inside sentences, such as because, so, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: A few lines are hard to follow because the meaning changes a little. Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
Task response: You answer the topic and give a clear opinion that both kinds of health are important.
task response
Task response: You include examples to support your ideas, which helps your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The use of basic signpost words helps the reader follow your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • nutrition
  • plant-based foods
  • gut flora
  • fiber content
  • saturated fats
  • mental health
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • vitamin B12
  • iron
  • omega-3 fatty acids
  • dietary restrictions
  • vegetarian diet
  • whole grains
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