IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has made possible for everybody to read anything online for free. This will make it unnecessary to pay for printed materials such as books or newspapers in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Paying for printed materials like
books
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 or newspapers is not a necessity with unlimited access to websites online to read anything desired for free without paying a single dime. In my opinion, I agree that the
internet
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 has helped save costs by reading online.
However
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, I
also
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 believe that reading online should be
cautioned
Replace the word
cautious
due to
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 contradicting
books
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. One key reason for
this
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 view is that reading online has saved
people
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 from having a physical library
but
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, but
show examples
 an online library. When
books
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 are bought, there is a need for a space or shelf to stack them on
which
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, which
show examples
 in turn means money is needed to acquire a shelf.
For instance
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, the cost of building a bookshelf can be overwhelming for some
people
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and
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, and
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 now that we have the
internet
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, the money meant for buying more
books
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 or building a shelf can be saved or go into
data
Correct article usage
a data
show examples
 subscription
which
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, which
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 is still a reasonable one. Another important benefit of online reading is that it reduces the stress
people
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 get when reading physical
books
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. Worrying about a torn page, burdened with the number of pages, and not being able to highlight points in the
books
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 has been relieved by reading through the
internet
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.
People
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 in med school are sometimes overwhelmed by the
books
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 they need to read
but
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, but
show examples
 with
the
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apply
show examples
access to the
internet
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 they have PDF of their textbooks, they can easily highlight
some
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apply
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certain
stuffs
Check wording
stuff
show examples
 and search for more information on it.
However
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, some
people
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 argue that buying printed materials is necessary to support authors and publishers.
While
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this
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 is understandable, reading online still saves cost and helps reduce pollution in the environment.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear. You say you agree, but you also add a different point. Show how far you agree in a direct way.
task response
Add one more main idea to fully answer why print may still be needed or why it may not be needed. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Use examples that fit the question more closely. Your example about medical students is good, but explain more how it shows print is not needed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan, which is good. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger ending. The last paragraph is short and does not fully bring your answer together.
task response
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task response
You give reasons and examples, not only general ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow in order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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