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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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In modern society, there is an ongoing debate over whether secondary
school
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students
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 should be required to study global
news
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 as a compulsory
subject
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.
While
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 some people argue that
this
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 additional
subject
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 is a waste of valuable
school
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 time, I strongly disagree. I believe that studying international
news
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 is essential for developing well-rounded global citizens. The primary advantage of studying international
news
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 is that it significantly broadens
students
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' global horizons. By engaging with current events and diverse cultures from around the world, young individuals acquire valuable knowledge not covered in traditional
core
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subjects
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.
This
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 exposure enhances their critical thinking and fosters respect for different cultures.
For instance
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,
analyzing
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analysing
show examples
 international
news
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 about global climate change allows
students
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 to understand how various countries tackle environmental issues together.
Furthermore
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, discussing these global topics with peers helps
students
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 improve their communication skills and articulate their opinions clearly.
On the other hand
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, those who oppose
this
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 idea argue that an additional compulsory
subject
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 would increase
students
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' academic burden. Secondary schools already demand a high level of focus on
core
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subjects
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 like Mathematics, Science, and History. Adding another
subject
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 could negatively impact the learning experience, especially for those who already struggle academically.
For example
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, high
school
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students
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 in major cities like Sydney who are preparing for demanding university entrance exams often need to dedicate all their available time to mastering these essential
core
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subjects
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.
Therefore
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, critics believe that reading the
news
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 should remain a free-time activity rather than a forced requirement. In conclusion,
while
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 adding international
news
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 to the curriculum might create extra pressure for
students
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 focusing on
core
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subjects
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, I firmly believe its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Cultivating a broader vision, critical thinking, and strong communication skills are crucial for teenagers.
Therefore
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, international
news
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 should be integrated into secondary
school
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 education to prepare
students
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 for the
globalized
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globalised
show examples
 world.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your view. To get a higher score, make the other side a little deeper too.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow. Try to add one more very clear reason or result in each body part.
task response
Your examples are relevant, but they feel a bit general. Use one more specific and real example if you can.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This is very good.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are used well. For a higher score, do not rely too much on common links like 'Furthermore' and 'Therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Some points could be developed a little more before moving to the next idea.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and clearly give your opinion.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organized into introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs connect well and are easy to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international news
  • school subject
  • valuable school time
  • global issues
  • real-life problems
  • open-minded
  • world events
  • critical thinking
  • active citizen
  • compare reports
  • different views
  • language skills
  • class discussion
  • core subjects
  • academic pressure
  • too complex
  • negative news
  • political bias
  • cause stress
  • background knowledge
  • stable knowledge
  • basic skills
  • age-appropriate
  • part of social studies
  • balanced stories
  • guide students
  • form opinions
  • understand the world
  • waste of time
  • in my view
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