IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how many people visited the Memphis Museum during the year before and the year after its refurbishment. The charts illustrate survey results on how visitors experienced their visit to the museum during those two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table below shows how many people visited the Memphis Museum during the year before and the year after its refurbishment. The charts illustrate survey results on how visitors experienced their visit to the museum during those two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table compares the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
Memphis
Correct article usage
the Memphis
show examples
 Museum before and after its refurbishment,
while
Linking Words
 two charts illustrate the satisfaction of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 during these two periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, the refurbishment appears in positive ways in both visitor numbers and satisfaction levels
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 The total
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 increased significantly, and a much higher proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 reported
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive feedback after the renovation,
while
Linking Words
 negative feedback declined remarkably. In terms of
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 number
,
Change preposition
of visitors, The
show examples
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 museum
experiencing
Verb problem
is experiencing
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 a noticeable rise after the restoration. 68000 are accounted before the improvement, surprisingly, 2100
people
Use synonyms
 are added in after the renovation,
proofing
Verb problem
proving
show examples
 that the improvement
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 attracted
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain way. Regarding visitor satisfaction, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who described their experiences with "Very good" and "Good" rose considerably after the rehabilitation.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 reported "Bad" and "Very bad" dropped sharply.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the percentages of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who
felted
Use the right word
felt
show examples
 neutral about
this
Linking Words
 museum remained relatively small in both
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
, with only slight variations.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.
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