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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Work-Life BalanceSome believe that success in life is determined by how much money a person earns. Others think that free time is more important.Work-Life BalanceSome believe that success in life is determined by how much money a person earns. Others think that free time is more important.

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Nowadays, many people believe that
success
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 is closely linked to the amount of money a person earns. Others,
however
Linking Words
, argue that having enough free
time
Use synonyms
 and maintaining a healthy
work
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-
life
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 balance are more important. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 financial stability is necessary for a comfortable
life
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, free
time
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 is equally essential because it contributes to happiness, mental well-being, and stronger personal relationships. On the one hand, earning a high income is often considered a symbol of
success
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. People with well-paid jobs can afford better housing, healthcare, education, and other necessities, which improve their standard of living.
In addition
Linking Words
, financial security reduces stress related to daily expenses and provides individuals with more opportunities in
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, many professionals
work
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 long hours in demanding industries because they want to support their families and achieve career advancement.
As a result
Linking Words
, society often measures
success
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 by wealth and material possessions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having sufficient free
time
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 is
also
Linking Words
 extremely important. People who constantly focus on
work
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 may experience stress, burnout, and health problems. Free
time
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 allows individuals to relax, spend quality
time
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 with family and friends, and pursue hobbies or personal interests.
Moreover
Linking Words
, maintaining a healthy balance between
work
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 and personal
life
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 can improve both physical and mental health.
For instance
Linking Words
, employees who have flexible working hours are often more productive and satisfied with their lives compared to those who
work
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 excessively long hours. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 a high income can provide comfort and financial security, I believe that free
time
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 is equally important for leading a balanced and fulfilling
life
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. True
success
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 should not only be measured by wealth, but
also
Linking Words
 by happiness and
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.

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task response
Add one more clear example to each main part.
task response
Explain a little more why free time is as important as money.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care, and avoid using the same pattern too much.
coherence and cohesion
Make one idea lead more clearly to the next idea in each body part.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly.
task response
Your ideas are easy to understand and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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