IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Advertising plays a major role in modern
society
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 by helping
companies
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 promote their
products
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 and services.
However
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, some advertising
methods
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 have become increasingly controversial because they can mislead
consumers
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 or negatively influence
society
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. I strongly agree that certain forms of advertising are unethical and unacceptable, especially when they manipulate
people
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 or promote harmful values. One reason why some advertising
methods
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 are considered unethical is that they often provide misleading information. Many
companies
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 exaggerate the quality or benefits of their
products
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 in order to increase sales.
For example
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, some beauty
advertisements
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 use heavy editing or unrealistic images to make
products
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 appear far more effective than they actually are.
As a result
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,
consumers
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 may waste money on
products
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 that do not meet their expectations. In some cases, false advertising can even affect
people
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’s health, particularly when
companies
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 promote unhealthy food, dangerous supplements, or questionable medical treatments without clear scientific evidence. Another major issue is that advertising can manipulate
people
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 emotionally, especially children and teenagers. Young
people
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 are more easily influenced by attractive celebrities, social media influencers, and unrealistic lifestyles shown in
advertisements
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.
For instance
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, many fashion and cosmetic
advertisements
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 create impossible beauty standards, which can damage self-esteem and increase insecurity among teenagers.
Furthermore
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,
companies
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 sometimes encourage excessive consumerism by making
people
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 feel dissatisfied with what they already own.
This
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 creates unnecessary pressure to constantly buy new
products
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 in order to feel successful or accepted in
society
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.
On the other hand
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, advertising itself is not entirely negative. Ethical advertising provides useful information about
products
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 and helps
consumers
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 make informed decisions.
In addition
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,
advertisements
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 support businesses, increase competition, and contribute to economic growth.
However
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, these benefits do not justify dishonest or manipulative
methods
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. Governments and regulatory
organizations
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organisations
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 should
therefore
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 introduce stricter rules to ensure
advertisements
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 remain truthful and socially responsible. In conclusion, I strongly agree that some advertising
methods
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 are unethical and unacceptable because they mislead
consumers
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 and negatively influence
society
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, particularly young
people
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.
Although
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 advertising is necessary in the modern economy, it should be carefully regulated to protect the public from harmful and dishonest practices.

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task response
Write one or two more very clear real examples to make your ideas stronger.
task response
In one body paragraph, you can explain one main idea a little more deeply before moving to the next point.
task response
Your answer is clear, but you can show the other side a bit more before saying why you still agree.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs flow well. To make links even better, use a few more simple linking words carefully, such as 'also', 'because', and 'so'.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear job, but one or two topic sentences could be even more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful not to repeat words like 'advertising' and 'products' too often. Small changes in wording can make the essay smoother.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a strong position from the start.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and easy to understand.
task response
You use examples about beauty ads, young people, and consumerism to support your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking is natural in many places, especially with phrases like 'for example', 'as a result', and 'on the other hand'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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